At 53 years old one would think that I wouldn’t care what anybody thinks about me!
Oh, I say that (To myself) all the time and yet when slap comes to tickle “I just want to be cool” like anybody else. Sure that voice in my head is real tough - “I have been around since the creation of fire and the Ford Pinto (Sometimes one and the same), so take me the way I am or LUMP IT!!!
Yeah, I still listen to the Beatles and think they are the greatest band ever and I’m not embarrassed to say it! And nobody has ever been cooler on Tv than “Jim Rockford”… So why am I afraid to wear shorts?
What the heck am I talking about right?!
Here’s the deal, I work outside in the desert and summer time is quickly approaching, and here, it is hotter than a wife who’s been forgotten on Valentines day (Sorry honey)! Now the whole crew, including some oldtimers like me have already started sportin the shorts, while I have begun the act of slow cookin like a Thanksgiving turkey in my jeans for yet another sweaty season!
Oh right, the point, get to the point… Well, as a lifetime lanky “Howdy Doody” lookin freckle-faced ginger (My hair now white), I stumble around like a baby giraffe on a pair of bleached white, spotted spindles that some would say couldn’t hold up a bar stool much less a man-child.
I mean, honestly, these freeky appendiges even startle me when undressing for bed and prompts my wife to give me flannel pj’s every year for Christmas.
Even my baby, my darling daughter, who I’ve put myself in the poorhouse for calls me “Big-Daddy-Chicken-Legs”….
So what is a guy to do? Forget any semblance of dignity and sport the shorts and be comfortable or be the only moog out there wearing pants in 115 degree heat?
I have yet to decide my fate for this summer but can’t get my sons voice out of my head as he advised - “Well Daddy-o looks like you’re gonna have to… SUFFER!!!